A depressing Sunday morning

I thought I would have already gotten better mentally yesterday. I woke up this morning, a sudden intensed feeling ran through my mind. I thought of the limpid moments of me and my friend being together, studying,and doing fun stuff together.I am just out of control. I do realise and keep reminding myself that its already over. But everything just happened too sudden and i wasnt prepared for it at all. I tried to pull myself up, saying to myself that I am stil far behind interms of studies. I will be having a test on this tuesday, yet, this is my first time of saying "I am not ready still", and i am still blogging. the worse thing, as suggested by my counsellor, is to postpone the test, again this is gonna be my first time of differing my test. really, i dont know what the correct path i should be heading. I am risking myself of taking the road that hasnt been taken. I have got no family members here in Adelaide to give me supports. I have got no one that i could talk to in person. I am all by myself. Lets just hope that my psychotic behaviour would resolve soon. I am tired. too tired.